Blind Leading the Blind

Queenstown, a town home to only 15,000 people, houses 140 bars, infinite hotels, and one hostel that is the size, and as nice as the White House. Nomads Travelers Hostel, equipped with a sauna, pool tables, stainless steel kitchen, and a cinema was jam packed with travelers ready to make moves. With that being said, every Monday evening calls for a Blind Leading the Bind Bar Crawl, throughout Queenstown! After finishing some Tapas and Mojitos with Doug at our favorite spot on the water, we headed to the crawl. At our first stop, the free drink was a shot of grenadine, fructose, corn syrup, melted fruit role ups which had the consistency of the inside of gushers. After taking that, we strolled on over to bar number two where we took the equivalent of a shot of absinthe mixed with baby formula. If that wasn’t enough to make you gag we met our first friend of the night who was the alleged VP of Freight Transportation for Australia, an enthused economist, and a faster talker than Wagnus/ and or Pascal. After a detailed walk through of Australia’s current economic state, a brief run through of their demographics, and his future predictions for what we still think is one of the best places in the world, (and watching some limbo) we were ready to move on. We strapped on our blind fold, got in the conga line and progressed to bar three. We walked up stairs only to find Tony Hawk Pro Skaters and their protégés showing off on a HALF PIPE. We were approached by lets call him Joe Trucker, only to hear about his last joint venture, were he lost almost half a million and his brother lost even more. He definitely started feeling bad for us because he knew this was about as fun for us as detention, that he then felt obligated to buy us both Jack and Cokes. We re-entered the conga line where Carley met a new friend by the name of English Chris. He was an enthusiastic 26 year old who had a knack for showing off his dance skills.

Thankfully, we made it to Chicos, bar four. As it was still fairly early in the night Chicos was similar to a 6th school dance, girls on one side, guys on the other, and bunch of characters in the middle. The female equivalent of Kid Rock, Chloe Kardasian, an extra from Dropkick Murphy’s and Waldo were all enjoying Usher’s Great Hits, other teen bop 6 tunes, best of Hillary Duff, and RHCP. Unfortunately again, we still didn’t have our dancing shoes on, so Joe Trucker made his way to Birmy, and English Chris found Carley. Joe was telling us he was too self conscious to dance, thinking we were the same, meanwhile we just weren’t looking to grind to Creed. The 48 Jack and Cokes hit Joe and he approached Kid Rock. Sadly for the spectators, they were interrupted by the Blind Leading the Blind’s weekly dance off. The 3 participants were Joe Jonas, Ned Flanders, and the winner of amateur night at Southern Exposure. One song wasn’t enough, so they brought the contestants back for more. Round two, “Chloe” (no coincidence Center St. girls), Joe, and Ned got serious, and no one was backing down for a free bungee jumping trip. Song 2 started, Chloe and Ned’s shirt went flying , and everybody was acting as if they just been electrocuted. Once Ned took his pants off, Chloe started doing everything from donkey kicks, hot dog rolls, somersaults, the worm, high knees, and what looked like a 5 year old attempting a cart wheel across the stage. Carley spit out her drink, and we both got the biggest ab work out either of us had had in the last two weeks. Finally the Jonas brother started pulling out Micael Jackson moves, and ripped his cardigan in half. This 2 minutes in itself was worth a trip across the world. We tried to catch our breaths, but were interrupted when English Chris came over and tried to dance with Carley. Flinging her around the room like a skip it, she politely backed away, and we both started watching Joe do a dance he could have only learned from a kangaroo, or frog…if they could snap. Birmy was on the side watching all of this take place, and was delighted to say yes when Chris asked Carley to dance, knowing what it would be like. Michael Jackson won the dance off and we were off to last stop World Bar.

World Bar, was where we spent the other night, (we will talk about that in a later post), but tonight was different with our motley crew since they serve “tea pots” filled with liquor and liquid nerds. We had our last shot of the night which was just as bad as the last 4, watched a couple of our people do some moves under a strobe light, and bid our new friends farewell. We made it back to the hotel, and were ready for a full day of wine tasting, Birmy’s first experience driving on the opposite side of the road, and a beautiful morning run around the lake.

Queenstown has been incredible! We will update the details shortly, however last night’s remains far too vivid to ignore.

MUCH LOVE! BC