We're Back! Sorry a little long..

We arrived in LA and had no idea what we were in for. Our first impression of our international flight was that of our parents first time watching teletubbies. The staff thought they were at a luau instead of realizing there was a line of about 200 people waiting desperately to check in and get out of that mess. Little did we know flying Air Pacific was the best decision we could have made. After taking an hour to get through security, we along with 900 other people waited to board the flight. We got on the plane and were told to go to the second floor and were greeted by our own personal bin which we through our shoes, yoga mats, bike helmets into. Shortly after getting situated we met our new travel companion Gemma a Brisbane native, who was able to get us affiliated with Aussieland before we got there. After 11 hours of flying, bottomless wine, the lovely flight attendants, and Chino (our favorite attendant who offered us shots of tequila and force fed us beer). Boom, landed in Gulah Gulah Island, 4:30 am, only to be greeted by Fijis finest local quartet, the smooth sounds of the island and the fluorescent lighting of the airport really captured the moment that we were in paradise. Yes, don’t worry we made it through their tough security comprising of an unplugged metal detector. We made sure to get the best seat in the house as we sat ourselves right in front of a large window where we had hoped we could watch the beautiful sunrise that was going to be happening in 2 hours. Hours passed waiting for the sunrise with Gemma, until we realized we were staring directly into an airplane hanger, beautiful airplane…. Around 7 am local time we thought it was time for a milkshake and beef pie to get the ball rolling. We also ordered a scone with veggiemyte, that tasted like an old pair of shoes used to mop McDonalds bathrooms. Enough of that. We were then ready to board another Air Pacific flight hoping that it was as enjoyable as the first flight.

We finally landed in Sydney, even though you would still think you were in Fiji with all the island tunes blasting throughout the plane. Our luck continued when our backpacks were one of the first 10 pieces of luggage, and we beat everyone through the customs line. Out of a 100 buses we randomly plopped ourselves down in the one shuttle we were apparently supposed to find, without even knowing it was a transfer for only our hostel. Again, great luck. We then made one more stop while leaving the airport, the pick up of our new best friend, Lisa (Lisa Simpson) from Germany. Little did we know Lisa was a new born puppy dog who just started leaching on to our travels and would not leave us alone. We put our bags down, changed, and were off to conquer Sydney.

We started walking with our nice friendly stalker, and were ready to see what this place had to offer. We walked through the Royal Botanic Gardens, alongside the harbor, where we saw the Opera House, Harbor Bridge, and more attractive people. It was then when we realized Lisa would not speak up or tell us what she wanted to do or had any interest in. It was about 4 o’clock and we were headed to the beach and were ready to board a ferry to Manly Beach, but there was a minor glitch in our plans when we found out we had bought a round trip ticket to the zoo instead. I guess they’re similar. After buying the correct ticket, we boarded the boat, and were greeted with 2 for 1 Jim Bean Colas in a can, so needless to say we took care of that. Lisa, with her platinum blonde hair similar to that of baby spice, bought a Blonde Beer, but couldn’t finish it because she said she was feeling drunk after a few sips, even though we were internally convinced she would be the Hulk Hogan of drinking. Wrong again. We got off the boat in the next harbor and couldn’t believe our eyes. It was lined with gorgeous boats, awesome lounges, great shopping, and some pretty amazing restaurants. Unbelievably gorgeous, except for the fact that it was 5 and everyone was leaving the beach, we were happy and relieved to be there. After failing at trying to purchase beach beers because apparently you can get arrested we settled for some good conversation with Lisa (simpson). Birmy couldn’t handle Lisa’s conversation so I was shipped off to the local fish market because we both assumed Lisa would be hungry since she had not eaten any schnitzel for the last 4 hours. We had our first fresh fish and chips, and then were ready to explore what else Manly had to offer. We went back to watch the sunset and cheers to our first night on our journey at a gorgeous bar on the water. We got on the ferry, headed back, and got our first taste of Sydney’s skyline at night. Once we were finally back at the hostel we got our linens and planned on taking a 45 minute nap then wanted to hit the town. We hit the bed and were out. Well a least Carley was out. I woke up around 10:30 only to be greeted by Lisa. I needed a power convertor and Lisa needed a friend. After a nice stroll to the local grocery store we had our convertors, were back at the hostel, and ready for a good night sleep to hopefully beat the jet lag.

Because we lost a day in the air our reservation at the Blue Parrot got a little messed up. Carley did not realize this until we tried to check in so we had to accept the fact that we were going to be in different rooms the whole time After waking everyone up in each others rooms, we were ready to start off our first day in Sydney. We head to the first floor, and there is Lisa sitting on the big red couch just waiting for us to walk down the stairs, bag in hand ready to make moves. We had no idea if Lisa was even hungry, but she just followed
along. We left Lisa, headed to Bondi and had an awesome day at the beach. We saw all the surfer bros, hoes, and dogs. With all that laying on the beach we worked up a pretty serious appetite and had to find some food. Lisa was apparently rubbing off on Birmy because he ordered a chicken snhnitzel for lunch. It was then that we realized every Australian was a 10 and it made us look barbaric. Birmy then committed himself to becoming a surfer bro and decided to cut out the schnitzel for the next year of his life in order to achieve that goal. We did an awesome 4 mile walk along the coast, and saw some pretty amazing views. We stopped into a local coffee shop so Carley could get her caffeine fix for the last hour, and admired the simple, stress-free lives of all those in Bondi, which consist of sleeping, surfing, and drinking. We putzed along streets that were lined with bars, coffee shops, and live music then headed back to downtown Sydney.

Even though we were both suffering from trench foot, and could barely walk, Carley insisted on shopping. After browsing through multiple stores like Limited Too Carley did not find a thing only a hot yoga studio. We got back to our room and were greeted by the weirdest person currently on this continent, and realized we were now sleeping with Lisa. What a great turn of events. Our room quickly turned into what sounded like a bidding auction with this Canadian who we’ll call Wagnus, with a sharks tooth in his ear. He sparked up a conversation speaking 75 words a second, screaming all hell. We slipped out for dinner and were trying to enjoy our margaritas and quesadilla at the local Mexican eatery. Tomatillo was then infested by a rabid elder man who proceeded to tell Carley what a quesadilla was, then he began screaming and calling these Australians no good rats because they were drinking, and then everyone just got arrested. Luckily, when we got back to our room Wagnus greeted us and informed Birmy that he was a little under dressed even though he was wearing a Brooks Brothers button down, khaki shorts, and a pair of Cole Hahn loafers. Fearing he would get denied at the door, he changed. Unfortunately, he was unable to out dress Wagnus’ because he forgot to pack his 1982 Nikes straight from a Russian spy. To paint this pretty little picture for you we will explain the outfit. He was wearing khaki paracute pants with enough chains to fill a jewelry store, a collared shirt the color of throw up, under a star wars graphic tee with collar tucked over. Don’t worry the shark tooth earring was still in, and he was wearing a necklace from Ozzy Osbournes jewelry tucked under the collar.

We pregamed with some cool kids from our hostel and then were headed to The Rocks for a night out. Unfortunately, Wagnus was denied from the first place we went to probably for the offensive look to society. Damn. We could not believe how awesome the club was- it had the best DJ and mixed some old Wall St. favorites. With the help of our Canadian girlfriends we made it home, and hit the bed like two babies.

Birmy then awoke the next morning with no sign of Carley. However, Wagnus was snoring next to him, and the second he got up to look for Carley, Lisa threw up the peace sign, and that was a sure sign it was going to be a great day. After a short facebook conversation with my ipod touch I was able to locate Carley and my laptop at a coffee shop in the red light district of Kings Cross conveniently located between Porky’s and The Pleasure Chest. We regrouped, rehydrated, repacked and hit the town. After walking 20 feet Carley decided it was time to rest out feet, thank god, we had no idea how much walking was ahead of us. While sitting on this bench, hungover, we realized this was day 2 and there were 88 days left of our little adventure. Even though we felt like we walked across the continent-we had the most amazing 10 mile walk all throughout Sydney and saw more than most people do in an entire week. During this walk we realized Sydney was the coolest place we had ever been to, and that everybody should move here at some point in their lives. Sydney has the cleanest, widest and nicest landscaped streets you will ever see in a city, immaculate public transportation, the prettiest harbors lined with bars, restaurants, stores and anything you could ever want in life, AND the friendliest people around. We admired Darling Harbor, the Rocks and areas along the water and thought things couldn’t get any more perfect, but they did, at the Rocks. This would be a more elegant Meat Packing District, with a quant, welcoming feel since the streets were lined with vendors and venues to go into. Luckily the Rocks made Birmy happy because other than that he was a miserable person with third degree burns on his neck and forearms. We went through 100s of food and merchant vendors, met some great people, made some great purchases, and soaked in the atmosphere with live music and corn on the cob.

We then had a revelation. We needed to be living in Sydney for the rest of our lives with 5 minor stipulations. One, we had to win the Australian lottery tonight. Two, we needed to immediately rob a local bank. Three, we were starting our own ponzi scheme, where we will be buying local beachfront real estate at the expense of others. Four, we needed to start a scuba company. And lastly, we need to become best friends with the CEO of Fed Ex to ship crates of clothes and goods back home. Things were going great until we got into a mini cargo bus from 1962, where we almost threw up on each other because what we thought was a 15 minute ride turned into an hour and 28 minute adventure to the Sydney airport with 233 speed bumps, 25 bags, 2 stops to pick up no one, and 409 left turns. After blindly circling around Sydney we made it to the airport with more luggage in the back than in our entire Jet Star plane.

We finally made it to the airport, and waited by Gate 56 to board our first of many Jet Star flights. A quick hour and a half flight, and we had made it to Melbourne. One problem- we lost our first item of the trip, Birmy’s lifeline and bible- Lonely Planet’s book” Southeast Asia on a Shoestring Budget”. The leader of Revenge of the Nerds checked us in, and we were ready for Melbourne.

We sit here writing this from the beaches of Melbourne, on their hottest day of the year, passing the time until the Australian Open men’s final tonight.

Cheers